Energy Matters Series

In this series of paintings I was exploring the nature of our visual perception and how we interpret energy as being a specific materialized thing.  I had known for some time that many teachers in the fields of science and spirituality taught that everything in the universe is actually energy, despite its appearance of solidity.  They said that we are surrounded by a field of energy that is the basis of everything.  I wondered to myself if this was really true.  Was I really surrounded by and filled with an energy that I could not see? 

One day I was relaxing with my eyes closed when I had the thought, "If I could see the energy that is me, what would I look like?"  Immediately I had an experience of my awareness being outside of my body, then entering back into my body through my eyes.  I saw a very  vivid image of my energy self.  I rushed to the studio to paint it down.   I titled this piece "Inner Self". 

                           
                            "Inner Self", 30" x 31", Acrylic on Canvas

This experience and image taught me of the reality of my energy self, despite my previous conditioned identity of myself exclusively as a materialized body.   Though a rather dramatic realization, it took only a little while for the implications of this new reality to begin to sink into my current belief system.  I attributed this rather fast adjustment to my process of knowing.  Thinking cognitively about something rarely has the ability to change one's perspective.   It takes a personal direct experience to immediately alter a previously held belief.   Of course, one expanded thought must lead to another.  And so the series of questions began!  If every individual thing truly was energy, fluctuating in different patterns in a larger field of energy, then what was the mechanism by which I was able to visually identify a single materialized object?   How did I know   "tree" energy pattern from "house"?

One day I found myself desiring to paint in a very unusual way.  I began to apply several very thin layers of color to heavy watercolor paper and wooden panels.  I used a mason's trowel like an enlarged palette knife, as this allowed me to work with vast sweeping layers of color.  As one layer on a support was drying, I began working on another support.  Then additional layers were added to each support in the same manner.    It became a very fun experience of simply spreading vibrant color across the surfaces of the supports.   As I wiped and scraped with each successive layer, I began to realize that the images appearing beneath my hands were very much like fluctuating energy patterns. 

                                       
                               Thin layers of acrylic paint suggest a field of energy.

Ah ha!   Suddenly it dawned on me that by following my urge to paint in this way, I was discovering answers to my questions!  When the layers were dry, I sat quietly with each "energy pattern" and let my mind see whatever form it wanted to see.    With this form as my focus, I then painted out some of the energy-looking areas using mostly a single dominant color.  This painting process allowed the object that I had perceived within the pattern to be revealed. 

    (Click on an image to view a larger version, title, and dimension.)

Looking at the completed series, I was struck with the knowing that I had been painting in a manner that resembled how our visual perception works.   As we look out into the field of energy around us, we have to choose an object as our focus.  It becomes clear in our vision when we blur everything around it out (like my painting away some of the energy patterns to reveal a specific object).   Therefore when  we focus on a single pattern within the field of energy,
we are able to recognize "dog" energy pattern from "tree"or "house".   As we focus on this object, it becomes more clear and more detailed in our visual perception.   

Our interpretations of what we see are likely a combination of social and cultural conditioning, personal experience, and mostly where our attention has been lately.  Our interests, beliefs, expectations, and associations all affect our
perception and identification of these energy patterns.  For example, if your last hike in the woods included being startled by a snake, then the next time you are in the woods you may be easily seeing "snake" shapes in the shadows and vines along your way.  This may be in your full awareness or running in the background of your mind as you hike along, feeling a little wary. 

As infants are developing, adults are constantly identifying objects in their environment to them with words.  Mom or dad points to an object so the child focuses their visual perception specifically on a single thing.  Then the parent says, "kitty" or "doggy" or "toe".  Though we assume we are merely teaching language, perhaps this is the beginning of the conditioning of the current   social/cultural agreement about what a particular energy pattern "really is". 

The subject matter that I automatically saw in the energy pattern paintings was undoubtedly a reflection of my personal interest and love of animals.  I am constantly surrounded by companion animals and wildlife, so they are a daily part of my awareness.  If I had been interested in race cars or airplanes, I would likely have perceived those kinds of shapes from the colored patterns.
   
This whole experience changed my life in a most amazing way.  I was thrilled with this new awareness of my energy self within a fluctuating field of energy.  And I was greatly Intrigued by the focusing process of blurring part of the field of energy out so that I could interpret and identify individual objects.  But I was most amazed that my answers had not come to me in a cognitive way, through reading or hearing others' experiences.   I had simply been guided from within to paint in a rather different way, and in that process of creating, my answers were revealed to me!  Of course now I stood in a place of greater awareness, but on that new plateau I was again filled with a series of questions:  "How did the energy of the object and the energy of its environment interact?"   "What were the implications of this?"  "Could a person perceive only the energy of an object?"    Could a person see the energy field?"...   And so my quest continued for the next level of awareness.